My breath came in slow gasps and coughs the way it too often does. I have had asthma my whole life, but that does not change the heart-pumping, adrenaline infused reaction that comes every time my brain realizes that it’s not getting enough air. Dizziness can set in along with feelings of panic. Thankfully, I live in the twenty-first century where help – and breath – is only a breathing treatment away.
For me, the real problems come after the breathing treatment, after the medication, when I am lying in bed dizzy and exhausted, asking God What now? Helplessness is not a feeling anyone enjoys, myself included, but it is often impossible to feel anything but helpless when your lungs are not working properly.
I do not tell you this story for a pity party or sympathy, but just to show you that I, too, am often discouraged about the direction God appears to be taking me. We women always have a lot on our plates, and it can be so difficult not to become discouraged when another one of life’s punches bowls us over.
Why did you do that, God?
It is so easy to question the Lord. The very first sin came from Satan asking Eve a really leading question. Did God actually say, “You shall not eat of any tree in the garden?”
This past week I felt those questions tugging at my soul as I dealt with being out of commission from another round of asthma and steroids. Between my wedding planning, school, church, work, family, and friends, I did not have time to spend days in bed or on the couch. But, that is where God firmly planted me. He had some things to show me.
Stop and Listen
Have you ever asked God a question and then not given him time to answer? Unfortunately, this is a bad habit of mine. For example, I have been desiring to grow closer to God (who doesn’t?) and asked him to draw me nearer to him. But, then I never gave him the chance to do so. I was off to work!
When you are having a conversation, two things must occur for that conversation to be successful. One person speaks, and the other person must stop and listen. You cannot listen wholeheartedly while doing something else. So, if this person or topic is important, you stop what you are doing. Then, you listen. As simple as this sounds, how often do we really intentionally do so, especially when talking to God?
Spoiler alert: It’s much easier to stop and listen when you are forced to lay flat on your back.
Am I saying that God made me ill in order to get my attention? No. Am I saying he didn’t? Also no. Honestly, it is not my place to question God’s methods. Job did that; I see no reason to do the same. Even when I want to.
Either way,God got my attention last week. He showed me some things that I will be sharing here on the blog for a while.
But, first, I have to stop and listen.
Is this an area you struggle with? When was the last time that you stopped and listened to God?
My Prayer for You
Lord, we live in such a busy and hectic world. Teach us how to slow down to match your rhythms of life and grace. Show us how to stop and listen for you and your quiet whisper. Remind us that we are so much more than this life is willing to offer. Thank you for hearing our prayers.